When My Heart Is Overwhelmed

When I was just a young girl, we had a women’s trio come to our church. One of the songs they sang was a simple melody tied to Psalm 61 and it started, “When my heart is overwhelmed…”  I find on days like today, the tune bubbles up to remind me of where my true help comes from. 

Do you ever feel like you need a “To Do List” to organize your “To Do List”?  

That’s where I’m at right now. 

My day job is as an elementary principal and school starts up in two weeks. Despite lots of summertime planning with our team there are still last minute odds and ends that we need to complete before students return.  

Then September arrives and I really “hit the ground running”. There are four large events on my calendar in September, all back to back weekends. They are happy and joyous events. Some I’m helping plan, some I’m just attending. Yet, there is a ‘busy-ness’ to it all. The planning stages involve time and energy. Each day that time and energy seems to be depleting faster and faster, like riding a bicycle down hill and forgetting to brake, but continuing with pedaling. 

When you add to it the unexpected day-to-day stressors, the feeling of overload becomes almost palpable. For me, every little thing makes me feel on edge. Simple problem solving all of a sudden feels like trying to figure out quantum physics. I begin to misinterpret people’s conversations and assume the worst. Things that would typically be “no big deal” instantly become “a big deal”! 

Unkind words roll off my tongue way too easily. 

Tears flow way too freely. 

I shut down way too quickly. 

My heart races, my stomach feels like it’s in knots, my head hurts.  Every choice, decision, action seems insurmountable! 

So what do we do to make things bearable? 

We can try to self-medicate (for me it’s junk food!) but that is short term and doesn’t solve any problems. A nap is always a strong option~ unless it's used as a form of escape and not as a time of true rest. A friend or spouse with a great sense of humor always helps a little. Listening to music to “pump us up” or  getting some exercise to get our blood pumping and those feel good endorphins running freely again. 

Yet, I love the option that the Psalmist gives us the best. 

“Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 61:1-2 (KJV)

Written by King David, it points as a reminder to bring me back to the source of true strength~ the Lord God alone. 

Imagine the daily life of a King. Talk about overwhelming! Yet, he stopped to cry out to his God.  It wasn’t a little “God, I’m reaching out today because I’m sensing a lot on my plate.” He cried out.  The Hebrew word is qara (kah-RAH) and it is a word that is used when someone is in distress or time of trouble.  

For me, that crying out takes different forms. Sometimes it’s with tears crying, “God, I just can’t do this anymore. Take over.”  There are days it’s angry, “God, this is just too much!” (just being real…He knows my heart already!) Sometimes it’s uttered in the chaos of a moment…

Feeling overwhelmed makes us feel shaky and unable to make stable decisions. It’s hard to complete tasks. Yet, when we think of Christ Jesus as the rock that is higher than ourselves we can know that we rest in His grounding. 

Friend, are you feeling the same as me today? If so cry out-qara- to the Rock that is our only sure footing. He will never fail you!

A Place of Remembrance

Vacation. Just the sound of it can bring refreshment in the anticipation of all it will bring. 

My social media feeds have been filled with beautiful photos of friends in Hawaii, Aruba, Greece and Paris. Amazing experiences I’m sure! 

This past week I had the privilege of vacationing with my family in a tiny (think 6’ 2” ceilings!) and cute cottage on the grounds of Alton Bay Christian Conference Center, on the shores of beautiful Lake Winnipesaukee.  This seasonal cottage was simple, but clean and sweet and had everything we needed to meet our needs. 

Our daily excursions were not extravagant. Coffee on the front porch and donuts from the local Mom and Pop shop. Mornings hiking or visiting extended family, afternoons spent on the beach~ digging in the sand and swimming (looking out for the snapping turtle that has made its home under the dock this year.) Boating in the early evening or playing board games at night. A cookout with dear friends, antiquing and a trip to the arcade. 

Because it was the fourth of July we enjoyed fireworks over the Bay; their booms resonating off the surrounding mountains while the brilliant colors lit up the sky. Cousins filled the hill with us, as the smallest family members ran up and down, and rolled down the hill with their glow stick necklaces and eyeglasses helping us identify their location. 

Each and every one of these moments was precious and holds a new space in my heart. I came home with a heart that was just overjoyed. 

Yet, amid all these sweet moments, one stood out amongst the rest. 

On Sunday evening, before the rest of my family arrived, I attended an evening service in the chapel. The songs were sung in brilliant 4 part harmony and reminded me of my youth.  Standing in this same building with family, long since passed, singing the same praises to our Savior.  

As I contemplated on this experience all week I kept asking the Lord why this particular vacation week was filling my spirit so sweetly. 

I believe it is because He calls us to remember. 

Remember Who He is. Remember His greatness. Remember His faithfulness. 

When Moses was visited by Yahweh at the Burning Bush it was said he would be remembered throughout all generations.

Exodus 3:14 & 15 (ESV) God said to Moses, “I am who I am.”And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”  God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: ‘The Lord,[b] the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’ This is my name forever, and thus I am to be remembered throughout all generations. 

For me, Alton Bay is a place of remembrance. 

I remember sitting with my parents in the Tabernacle each summer as the Gospel was preached in Word and song. 

I remember attending VBS in a storm~ dressed in garbage bags as rain gear~ and hearing the stories of Jesus.

I remember as a young girl of ten giving my heart to Jesus around a campfire on these grounds. 

I remember learning to serve Him with my gift of music at SPAM Camp. 

I remember telling of His goodness as I served as a counselor to many young ladies at Camp Advenchur. 

I remember generations of my family enjoying the fireworks, then worshipping together in song and remembering God’s faithfulness. 

And in remembering, I was able to connect not just to the past, but to the future as well. 

There’s something powerful in remembering. It anchors our faith,  and reminds us that God’s goodness and faithfulness is for generation to generation. 

All praise to Him!

Constant Communication

Recently my dearest friend and “sister-by-heart”, Cindy,  moved more than 200 miles away. It was a big adjustment for both of us and through lots of tears, we are learning how to do long-distance friendship well. 

I’m not sure if it’s harder for the one who is “left behind” or the one who finds herself in a new place. I’m learning to do all the same routines without the girlfriend who was always there.  Sunday morning worship without hearing her voice in the pew in front of me. Phone calls saying, “Hey feel like going shopping?”  Impromptu dinners out.  

One thing we knew, without fail, was that while distance would certainly impact our friendship, it would in no way diminish its importance. 

So, we’ve adapted. 

We talk on the phone from time to time, have video chatted with big news, met up for dinner at a point in between and made some vacation time to get away for a few days together. We text often and share photos of life. Yet, the thing that has struck me as one of the biggest changes in our friendship is the daily “pings” of social media sharing that has grown. Several times a day we send each other inspirational or funny posts that share our heart with each other. 

Each time my phone alerts me to a new “tag” or “share” from her it has come to mean so much!  At least once a day (and often several times) I am reminded that I’m not forgotten. That I’m still in her heart. I still come to mind. That our friendship is important. 

It’s also done something else for me. This rhythm of constant connection, began to remind me of staying in constant contact with the God I love and serve. He wants to hear that He’s still on my mind. That our relationship is important. That He hasn’t been forgotten.

A familiar verse reminds us…

  Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is  God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18

It’s always been difficult for me to fully embrace how to practically execute the verse ‘praying continually’. Life is busy. I dedicate some time in the morning, meals, time at the end of the day to talking to Jesus and listening to Him share with me. I’ve gotten better about praying over a specific need in the moment that it is shared with me.  

But what about all those minutes in-between? 

I’m coming to realize that, much like the media shares between Cindy and me,  it’s offering up a quick and heartfelt thought at any time during the day. 

• “Thank you, Lord, for that bit of encouragement you just sent me.” 

• “Jesus, I need wisdom.” 

• “Father, help me trust you in this very moment and situation.”

• “Jesus, forgive the unkindness I just displayed.”

• “Creator God, this weather is amazing! Thank you for your blessing!”

We have a Father God who wants us to stay in constant communication with Him. He wants to hear our heart because He cares so deeply about the relationship we have with Him. 

He cares so deeply, He sent Jesus. 

For reflection: 

What are some ways you stay connected to Jesus and “pray continually”? 

Are you ready to try working simple phrase prayers into your day?

What’s your manna?

On July 27th my husband, grandson and I were in a car accident that totaled our car. (Two weeks before it would be paid off in full, no less.)

Thankfully no one was hurt, but it did mean the hassle of replacing the car. Last night; almost 2 months later ~ we finally took ownership of the car that we ‘bought’ on July 30th. WooHoo!

I wish I could tell you I waited so patiently during this time period. I wish I could tell you that I was expressing my gratitude every day that the Lord had provided alternate transportation for us~ for free~ through a rental and then a brand new loaner car. But, I’d be lying to you if I said it.

My attitude? Grumbling. Complaining. Anger. Calling my poor husband every other day (ummm…some weeks every day?) to see if he had received any calls from the insurance company, or the car dealer, or anyone that could move this transaction along faster!

Fast forward to last night. All of a sudden, there was much rejoicing!

As I lay in bed last evening and reflected~ thanking Him for this “new to us” blessing, I heard his still small voice reminding me that the same blessing I was so grateful for today, was basically the same one I had grumbled about for the past 60. God met the very same need of ours~ transportation. But, in my selfishness for wanting something that was “mine”, with all the bells and whistles, I completely lost sight of it.

I repented, as I realized I had become just like the Israelites who, wandering in the wilderness, finally free from slavery and bondage, grumbled and complained and carried on about the manna God provided because in their selfishness they wanted the rich food they had in Egypt. (See Exodus 16/Numbers 11). Instead of continually rejoicing in God’s hand of protection on us, and His provision of transportation during the ‘waiting’ I stomped my feet, yelled and had a little temper tantrum. More than once.

I did not reflect a thankful heart.

So, I ask you today. What’s your manna? What has God provided for you that you are forgetting to be thankful for? It’s never too late.

Simply Trusting

If given the following two options, what type of person would you say you are? 

•  You automatically trust people until they give you a reason not to 

•  People have to earn your trust 

I would typically say I’m the former.  I also desire that others trust me until I give them a reason not to. 

Yet, despite my typical answer, my heart has been struggling with fully trusting Jesus lately.  He’s never given me a reason not to trust Him, and I can give you several examples of times in my life that he’s been faithful and true to everything He promised in His word.

Oh, I can wholeheartedly give lip service to it. Just a week ago I fervently led our congregation in singing:

“I trust in God, my Savior

The one who will never fail

He will never fail”

©Essential Music Publishing, Integrity Music

This past Sunday I lifted my voice in corporate worship proclaiming

“‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take Him at His word.” 

©Public Domain

Yet, Monday has arrived and now in situations where I absolutely cannot control the outcome for myself or those I love, my trust waivers.

Instead of remembering all the ways that God has, without fail, cared for, protected, led, provided, healed, redeemed or rescued me I find myself settling in to worry, fret and doubt. 

Why is that?

I’m not a person who typically has trust issues. As I think of the closest relationships in my life~ my husband,  our children, our best friends~ I would trust them with my life. I wouldn’t hesitate for a moment to believe they had my best interests in mind. I have spent so much time with them I know their character. They also know mine. They know what ‘makes me tick’. They know my strengths and faults. I can pour the depths of my heart out to them and know that I’m still loved. 

So, how do I become the type of person like Daniel who when surrounded by lions was protected “...because he had trusted in His God.” ? (Daniel 6:23b NIV) 

A person like the Apostle Paul who so thoroughly trusted Jesus he said, “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:21 NIV)

Someone like my Dad who walked through seven years of a terminal cancer diagnosis, full of joy and without worry, because He trusted every moment of his life to Jesus’ care. 

A person like countless other friends that have walked through unbelievable trials that have cut them to their core, yet they continue to proclaim that God is a loving and sovereign God, and can tell of His mercy and providence in their various situations. 

Why is it that even when I look back at my own life and see specific situations that have His fingerprints alone on the outcome I still live in a state of anxiety and worry?

As I’ve been reflecting on this the past several weeks, I realize that each of these people had relationships that were so close to Jesus that they couldn’t help but trust Him! They spent time with Him on a regular basis. They knew the ins and outs of His character because they knew Him intimately. They recounted His wonderful works and proclaimed His praise! They continually rehearsed and remembered His acts of mercy, guidance, redemption, healing and provision in their lives.  They poured out their hearts to Him as they trusted His goodness and unchanging nature.

So it’s time to do some honest reflection and ask myself, “Am I working on building my relationship with Jesus every day so that there is such a closeness I can’t help but trust Him implicitly?’  Am I learning more and more about His unchanging character? Am I pouring my heart out to Him or am I trying to solve issues on my own? Am I recounting the ways He’s worked in my life through my words of thanksgiving and praise? 

I don’t want to live in a state of worry or doubt. So I’ll continue to step out and faith and proclaim that I’m 

“Simply trusting every day…

Trusting though my faith is small, 

Trusting Jesus that is all.” 

©Public Domain

Thriving in the “In Between”

Those who had the privilege to know my Dad, may remember that He was a planner. (Guess, I come by that same trait honestly!)

Long before the days of google maps, if a family vacation was in our future he would purchase one of those fold out paper maps and carefully highlight the route in yellow marker. Then taking out his small black notebook and mechanical pencil, he would add up the total number of miles we had to cover in order to reach our destination, take the number of days we had, and then divide it up so he could identify each stop along the way. Sometimes it was a campsite, sometimes it was the home of an old friend. If there were campsite fees, he would record those along with the other information in his precise engineer printing, in a small black notebook. In the same way, he would carefully calculate how many miles per gallon our car would get and how many times he would have to fill it; then divide it by the current price of gas to estimate the potential gas cost. That total, along with the cost of tolls would be carefully added to the notebook. From point A to point B there were seldom surprises~ unless it was the occasional flat tire or overheated engine. 

Throughout my life, I often tried to live my life in the same way Dad planned our trips. Oh, as a Christ follower, I’ll tell you that I totally believe God has a plan for my life. (Afterall, the verse printed on my high school graduation invitations was Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord…” ) Yet, despite this deep desire and my belief, my default has always been mapping things out. Be methodical. Always have a plan. Know what comes next. Identify goals and milestones.. Oh, and then ask God to bless my plan. 

Then, when the plan doesn’t materialize, there’s the battle with disappointment. In myself and in others who didn’t cooperate with my plan. (Didn’t matter whether they even knew my plan existed and they were a part of it, or not!) And, if I‘m truly being vulnerable here, sometimes I have even been angry at God for not coming through with my plan. As if the God of the Universe should relegate His perfect will to that of His created being. 

The last few years however, I’ve come to realize that when I become so locked into a plan, there’s seldom room in the margins for God to lead and guide. It’s during the ”in between” when I become unsettled because I have to wait. I have to trust. 

Psalms 143:8 (NIV)

 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

Guess what else I’ve learned… His plans? WAY better than mine ever were!

The Bible recounts so many stories of people that had to trust the Lord during the “in between”. Joseph was sold into slavery; waiting years to see God’s purpose in using Him to save his family from famine. The Israelites wandered for 40 years in the desert, waiting and trusting for the Promised Land. Ruth depended on her husband to provide for her; then after his death had to trust God in a strange new land until a kinsman redeemer was provided for her. The Disciples watched Jesus die and were left in a state of shock, fear and sorrow as they waited for the next chapter. 

We can see God’s hand in these stories because we know the endings. But imagine what Joseph, the Israelites, Ruth and the disciples could have been feeling during the “in between”. Still, they chose to place their trust in a God who had proven himself faithful. 

When my Dad received his cancer diagnosis Doctors gave him approximately three months. God in His grace and mercy gave him seven years, but as each month and year passed because of the way the disease made him feel, his ability to “plan life” diminished. Long range plans were something of the past. Weekly and daily plans depended upon His strength and energy levels, or whether or not he had treatments or doctor’s appointments. Yet, watching Dad during this in between time he THRIVED!  

Dad would tell you that His trust was in Jesus and he wasn’t afraid of what was next. It was more than lip service though~ he lived like he believed it. Mornings would find him sitting at the table with Mom, listening to his audio Bible, then his day would begin. When he felt good he would catch a cup of coffee with his buddy, join Mom for errands, sit on the lawn and enjoy the sunshine and God’s creation around him, attend church, enjoy family time with his kids, grandkids and great-grandson, put on his favorite CD, talk a friend through a small repair, or archive family movies. He thrived during the in between! He didn’t know what was coming next, and that was okay. Because He knew Who did know! 

Friend, if you are in the midst of a season of “in between” I encourage you to seek God and put your trust in Jesus. It will take a leap of faith. It may feel unsettling at first. He has an amazing plan for every part of your life and He is always faithful!

For reflection: 

What is the ‘in between’ you are facing right now?  Are you trusting God in it? 

What do you need to release from your grasp to Him? 

To Know Him More

January 1st.

The calendar page turns. 

365 blank days to fill. 

I have such a love/hate relationship with New Year’s Day.

It’s not so much in the reflection and retrospection, as it is in the looking ahead. 

So. Much. Pressure.

Friends, family and social media posts asking, “What’s your resolution?”, “Do you have a word for the year?” 

I can think of enough resolutions- from the big to the little- that I could make keeping them my full time job! 

-Eat healthier and work out more

-Check in on family more often 

-Read at least 2 books every month just for fun

-Keep the inside of my car clean

-Learn to play the guitar

-Be more patient with people 

-Take up gardening

-Learn the art of tatting

-Write something daily

Words? How do I choose one? There are SO many good ones! 

Trust.  Definitely need to remember God has a plan and it’s always way better than mine! 

Rest.  Still a work in process to depend on Him fully. 

Healthy. That’s a no brainer. 

Joy.  Appreciate. Inspire. Perspective. 

Let me say up front, there’s nothing wrong with any of those approaches to the New Year. For some people they work well. I know many of you seek God’s wisdom as you think about your resolutions and word of the year. For me, it’s just never worked. 

Two weeks into a resolution and I’ve re-stocked my fridge with ice cream, neglected to call or text anyone, created a higher pile of unread books on my nightstand, added a few more empty soda bottles to the floor of my car… you get the idea!   

And the word? Last year I chose one, but had to go back through my journal entries to even remember what it was! 

The past several days as I’ve agonized over the page turn from December to January, and prayed for God to give me a special word or a specific resolution, the lyrics to an old Steve Green song that I hadn’t heard or thought of in several years continued to run through my head. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, and they would be on my mind. I’d be singing in the car, and the tune would come out through my lips. 

The song is “Oh, I Want To Know You More”. The chorus that plays on repeat in my mind says: 

“Oh, I want to know You more, deep within my soul I want to know you,

 Oh, I want to know You, 

 To feel your heart and know Your mind, looking in Your eyes, stirs up within me 

 Cries that say, "I want to know You, oh, I want to know You, more.”

This year, my approach is simply this one thing: “To Know Jesus more.”   

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:7 & 8a “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”

As we walk into 2024 together, I’m asking those of you reading this to help hold me accountable. Check in with me. Ask me if I’m consistently spending time with Jesus. (Because you can’t know a person without spending time with them, right? ) Ask me to share with you what He’s revealing about himself to me. 

Research says we become like those we spend the most time with. I hope that 2024 is transformational for me.

Joy in Obedience

I almost missed an amazing opportunity for joy last week. 

As can be my way when obedience seems hard, or inconvenient, I tend to pull a Jonah and head on my way to a Ninevah of my own making.  (I’m not proud of that fact- just keepin’ it real!) 

For several weeks, my church had been planning  for a summer Vacation Bible School and advertising the need for volunteers. Before I even had time to process it, I dismissed it. 

But then, each morning on my quiet ride to work, I heard that small, still voice… “Call and volunteer.”

I created several excuses not to…

• “I’ve done VBS for years. It’s someone else’s turn.”

• “Every night, Lord? That’s too much. I’m tired after working all day.” 

• “I’m too old to do ‘camp’ again.”

• “There’s others that are qualified to help. Let them step up.” 

Finally, two weeks into this daily scenario I gave in and texted the Coordinator and offered to assist.  As soon as I hit send, I felt this excitement come over me. There’s no doubt in my mind God honors our obedience! 

By saying yes, these are the joys I experienced last week: 

• Serving in community with people of all ages (from teens to their 70s!) 

• The reminder of God’s strength to sustain 

• Children singing praises to Creator God

• A little one asking deep theological questions that reminded me of Christ’s love

• Watching my grandson grow in His faith walk 

• Using my talents to lead our team in worship through song

• Seeing teens caring, loving and leading children in fun

• Talking with thankful parents

• Being encouraged by the generosity of families in donating to our mission project

• Falling into bed tired, but knowing that I had been obedient to a loving Father who was allowing me to see His grace and mercy at work

It’s easy for me as an introvert who fights against depression to forget that I’m created for community. Sometimes, that even becomes an excuse to avoid others.

We are called to live our lives with and for others.

Romans 12:4-5 (NIV)For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

Could VBS have run without me last week? Yes- no doubt in my mind.  Would I have missed an amazing blessing God wanted to speak into my life- Absolutely! 

I’m convinced that when God asks us to use our abilities and gifts to serve Him and others, He wants more than just our particular skill set-He needs and wants us.

Last week I was reminded that obedience and serving alongside others can bring with it a great joy. 

Joyfully, 

Lorinda 

---

For Reflection: 

• Where is God calling you to walk in obedience? 

• Are you going to “pull a Jonah” or say, “Yes, Lord?”

Finding Forgiveness at Walmart

This summer I caught a glimpse of abundant living at Walmart. 

Yup, Walmart. 

I have always loved the fourth of July. Magazines and advertisements make it look like the most phenomenal summer event. Picture perfect images abound of everyone dressed in red, white and blue ~ without any BBQ sauce spills on the white shorts. There’s the image of a beautifully decorated picnic table~ no breezes blowing the napkins off the table or people trying to shoo the flys away. Kids blowing bubbles and playing with sidewalk chalk~ never showing the crying or screaming images when they are so beyond tired they can’t even stand up straight. Couples kissing on a blanket under the fireworks~ without any evidence of the car ride just minutes before when they were arguing with each other over where to find a parking space in all the crazy traffic. 

This year, our fourth of July was quite different. No sun, picnic, or friends and families. Just a stormy, muggy day and the two of us. Oh, and a flooded room. 

The night before we (and by “we” I mean Gary…I just hold the curtains back 😂) put our window air conditioner units in all of our upstairs bedrooms. Gave them a test run and then shut them off for the evening.

The next morning, we woke to find that the summer thunderstorm had blown in sideways through the air conditioner vent and soaked the wall to wall carpet in our office. In addition, it had soaked through the floorboards and was leaking into my mother’s bedroom in her in-law apartment below us. What a mess! (The details of which is a whole ‘nother story.) 

Off to  Walmart we traipsed- celebrating our 4th by purchasing additional fans and dehumidifiers, baking soda and bleach. (Insert loud sigh here.) Can’t say I was really feeling the “abundantly living with hope and joy thing” in that moment.  In true transparency, I had a full blown pity party going on~ just without the balloons and streamers.

Then, as we were leaving the store, I saw her. Walking in with her husband. It had been seventeen years. Seventeen years since I had seen her. Seventeen  years since a huge falling out happened when several people (I don’t believe intentionally) wounded my heart so deeply that it’s taken years for God to work through the hurt and bring me to the other side of depression. 

I thought I had worked through most of the pain from that event, but in that moment my heart knew I hadn't.

I froze momentarily. It was one of those encounters where it was obvious we had seen each other and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t. I inaudibly prayed, “Lord, help me.I can't do this." In that moment something happened that can only be described as the grace of God working in my life, and the power of the Holy Spirit. I walked over to her, said “Hi! How are you?” and HUGGED HER! She stiffened and appeared to be a bit taken aback (and honestly I kind of was, too!) We continued a quick ‘How’s work? How’s the family?’ conversation before going our separate ways. 

As we walked to the car Gary took my hand and just said, “Wow.” I had no words and could only sob. In those brief moments, after seventeen years of still holding onto bitterness and hurt that I had tucked down into the deepest core of my being~ I forgave.

Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV) Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

I felt a freedom that afternoon that was better than any Fourth of July party could have celebrated. I can’t explain it, other than to know that it was God working in my heart. Growing me. Shaping me. Molding me… to be more like Jesus.

You see friend, abundant living is not the accumulation of material possessions .It’s not enjoying picture perfect holidays (although those are lovely!)  It’s allowing Jesus to free us from whatever holds us in bondage, so we can experience joy and hope. 

I had been waiting on an apology that didn't happen. Yet, the only response I have control over is my own. On this day it was letting go of my pride, bitterness, self-justification and anger. I was freed for more.

When we begin identifying those attitudes, actions, habits, and dependencies in our life that are keeping us from holiness and glorifying God, and surrender them through the power of the Holy Spirit we once again can experience true freedom. 

And that my friend, is “living to the full”! 

Seventeen years I waited! How foolish.  But God is gracious. He waits for us to be ready.

Even if it's at Walmart.

Joyfully, 

Lorinda

For Reflection:

Is there an apology you are waiting for that may never come?

Do you have any hurts that you are bitterly harboring?  

What will you choose to do with them? Continue to live in bondage, or be free?

Beginnings

Beginnings.

Some people love them, some people hate them.

We all need them.

Do you ever struggle with feeling like a failure? I do way more often than I should.

My intentions start out great!

I’m going to…

Today I will…

This time will be different because…

But then…

I fail to.

I don’t.

It’s no different than the last time.

Just once I wish I could keep a promise I make to myself. Then I remember…

Guess who never breaks a promise?

Jesus.

Lamentations 3:22-24 (ESV)

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“

The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

He loves me so much that today has new mercies.

Just like He provided new manna for the Israelities each morning, He provides all I need for today.

I don’t have to hang on to yesterday’s breadcrumbs.

New mercies for new beginnings.

So today I set my intentions again,

Trusting my Lord to be merciful because of His great love for me.

Praising Him for His faithfulness.

Placing my hope once again in Him, not in myself.

And I begin again.