Finding Forgiveness at Walmart

This summer I caught a glimpse of abundant living at Walmart. 

Yup, Walmart. 

I have always loved the fourth of July. Magazines and advertisements make it look like the most phenomenal summer event. Picture perfect images abound of everyone dressed in red, white and blue ~ without any BBQ sauce spills on the white shorts. There’s the image of a beautifully decorated picnic table~ no breezes blowing the napkins off the table or people trying to shoo the flys away. Kids blowing bubbles and playing with sidewalk chalk~ never showing the crying or screaming images when they are so beyond tired they can’t even stand up straight. Couples kissing on a blanket under the fireworks~ without any evidence of the car ride just minutes before when they were arguing with each other over where to find a parking space in all the crazy traffic. 

This year, our fourth of July was quite different. No sun, picnic, or friends and families. Just a stormy, muggy day and the two of us. Oh, and a flooded room. 

The night before we (and by “we” I mean Gary…I just hold the curtains back 😂) put our window air conditioner units in all of our upstairs bedrooms. Gave them a test run and then shut them off for the evening.

The next morning, we woke to find that the summer thunderstorm had blown in sideways through the air conditioner vent and soaked the wall to wall carpet in our office. In addition, it had soaked through the floorboards and was leaking into my mother’s bedroom in her in-law apartment below us. What a mess! (The details of which is a whole ‘nother story.) 

Off to  Walmart we traipsed- celebrating our 4th by purchasing additional fans and dehumidifiers, baking soda and bleach. (Insert loud sigh here.) Can’t say I was really feeling the “abundantly living with hope and joy thing” in that moment.  In true transparency, I had a full blown pity party going on~ just without the balloons and streamers.

Then, as we were leaving the store, I saw her. Walking in with her husband. It had been seventeen years. Seventeen years since I had seen her. Seventeen  years since a huge falling out happened when several people (I don’t believe intentionally) wounded my heart so deeply that it’s taken years for God to work through the hurt and bring me to the other side of depression. 

I thought I had worked through most of the pain from that event, but in that moment my heart knew I hadn't.

I froze momentarily. It was one of those encounters where it was obvious we had seen each other and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t. I inaudibly prayed, “Lord, help me.I can't do this." In that moment something happened that can only be described as the grace of God working in my life, and the power of the Holy Spirit. I walked over to her, said “Hi! How are you?” and HUGGED HER! She stiffened and appeared to be a bit taken aback (and honestly I kind of was, too!) We continued a quick ‘How’s work? How’s the family?’ conversation before going our separate ways. 

As we walked to the car Gary took my hand and just said, “Wow.” I had no words and could only sob. In those brief moments, after seventeen years of still holding onto bitterness and hurt that I had tucked down into the deepest core of my being~ I forgave.

Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV) Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

I felt a freedom that afternoon that was better than any Fourth of July party could have celebrated. I can’t explain it, other than to know that it was God working in my heart. Growing me. Shaping me. Molding me… to be more like Jesus.

You see friend, abundant living is not the accumulation of material possessions .It’s not enjoying picture perfect holidays (although those are lovely!)  It’s allowing Jesus to free us from whatever holds us in bondage, so we can experience joy and hope. 

I had been waiting on an apology that didn't happen. Yet, the only response I have control over is my own. On this day it was letting go of my pride, bitterness, self-justification and anger. I was freed for more.

When we begin identifying those attitudes, actions, habits, and dependencies in our life that are keeping us from holiness and glorifying God, and surrender them through the power of the Holy Spirit we once again can experience true freedom. 

And that my friend, is “living to the full”! 

Seventeen years I waited! How foolish.  But God is gracious. He waits for us to be ready.

Even if it's at Walmart.

Joyfully, 

Lorinda

For Reflection:

Is there an apology you are waiting for that may never come?

Do you have any hurts that you are bitterly harboring?  

What will you choose to do with them? Continue to live in bondage, or be free?